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How to Survive and Thrive after Divorce
August 31, 2023

First and foremost, you will need to change your mindset. Yes, change is hard. Yes, change is uncomfortable. However, learning to embrace change will do wonders for your life, especially when experiencing a divorce.

 

How does one embrace change when it seems your whole life is crumbling before you? Look at the bright side of the situation. I know it might be difficult, but trust me, there is a bright side in any situation. It takes a new mindset to find it and perhaps some rose- colored glasses.

 

Understand how the split gives you more time for yourself since you are no longer planning your life around another individual. Maybe you never even thought of treating yourself to a nice dinner out, a massage, or a chick flick, because you were always focused on doing something for or with your spouse. Maybe the split gives you the time to devote to your interests – reading, travel, or moving to another location.

 

Learn how to have fun: hike, attend concerts, travel, go dancing, whatever makes you happy.

 

This type of mindset leads to the next step – taking care of yourself! This means getting enough sleep, eating healthy (because you are worth the effort to prepare real food), walking/working out regularly, and taking the time to meditate (or sit quietly, enjoy nature, listen to soothing music – whatever meditation means to you.)

 

Remember that being a couple isn’t a requirement for a great life. You are not less than others because you’re divorced.

 

These types of behaviors will reinforce your belief that you are worth it! You are a valuable person by yourself! You are complete all by yourself! You do not need another person to validate your existence.

 

Since divorce often means you lose friends and/or the friends you have may not relate to your new life situation, it will be time to cultivate some new friends. You will need some new soul sisters who can relate and offer guidance and encouragement when needed. You will also need to do more fun things with your friends, both new friends and old ones. Explore activities that were limited because of your previous married state. Perhaps visit a new town or partake in a new activity. Have you ever gone bungie jumping or traveled to another country? Find a friend and try it out!

 

Adopt the attitude that your life is unfolding in your best interest, not to create havoc and misery.

These changes will lead to creating your new life – the one you want to live, not the life that society, your spouse, or perhaps yourself, expected. This is a great opportunity to rewrite your future complete with a happy ending, the one you want!

 

If you want more suggestions on how to reinvent your life, read my first book, “Live the Life You Have Imagined.” It was written after I turned 60 and found myself suddenly divorced. You can check out this book and others at www.JanieJ.net/store.

 

  • “Janie has been an inspiration to me. Her no-nonsense, no-fluff approach to finding the most important ways to make the biggest impact on her own life has helped me grow in my life too.”
    Beth Bridges
    The Networking Motivator
  • “‘Live the Life You Have Imagined’ covered everything I needed to be reminded of as I continue life's journey in an easy, concise format that will allow me to go back to it over and over for direction and inspiration.”
    Pat Birkle
  • “Janie, You are my inspiration! I have enjoyed watching your life grow as you share your best life with others and I can hardly wait to read your next book.”
    Karen Bowser
  • “Janie's writing is engaging and entertaining from the start. She challenges you to reflect on daily choices and make/or remake future decisions.”
    Susan Zumwalt

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