Only then can you start living your best life!
Why would you even want to speak your truth? Your mind probably tells you things like others won’t like me, they won’t relate, or worse yet – they will ostracize me. As humans we have a natural desire to fit in. Think back to the first groups of human, more like tribes. If we didn’t ‘fit in’ we were left out on our own to most-likely succumb to nature or the evils of another tribe. Hence our deep desire to go along with the crowd.
But times have changed as mankind has evolved. People are getting bolder with speaking out. They are starting to say, “Hey, I AM different, but I still belong. I still have value.” This is where we all need to be. It will take time, but hopefully not the eons it has taken us to get this far. The sooner humanity adopts this type of mindset, the better – for all of us!
What does speaking your truth even mean and how does one do it?
It means setting boundaries, so others know how to treat you. I am talking about the nurturing syndrome of many, especially women, who feel the need to help others all the time without any concern of their own time, talent, or wishes. When you start to set boundaries, you will be met with resistance, but proceed, nonetheless. This is the only way other people will finally realize that you were not put on this Earth to meet their every whim or desire.
Setting boundaries means not being available to work overtime, baby sit, volunteer for yet another PTA activity, or do the whole household’s laundry. I am not saying don’t ever do these things, but don’t do them unless you really want to!
Setting boundaries can also mean not putting up with ill behavior of others. If they lie, yell, or threaten you, feel free to point that out to them. Yelling back is not necessary. In fact, it’s much better to remain calm because it’s likely to upset them further. Just explain you don’t like being treated that way. Distance yourself from such individuals.
Same thing for those people who are habitually late, never have money to pay the tab, or expect you to change all your plans to accommodate them. There are plenty of nice people on the planet, go find some of them!
Speaking your truth means being proud of yourself! Forget how you were raised to be quiet, sit in the corner and shut up. Instead, first practice telling yourself that you are proud of yourself for accomplishing XYZ activity. Look in the mirror. Repeat it over and over until it sinks in, and you believe it. To younger folks, this activity may sound ridiculous, but to older folks, especially women, it makes perfect sense. We were raised to sit on the sidelines.
Once you’ve mastered speaking up for yourself, you can craft the process of when to mention these tidbits. To be a total braggart will not win you any friends, but practice how to respond with your accomplishments when it’s appropriate. (I know after giving yourself that big pep talk, it might seem counterintuitive to try to hold back, but it is the best course of action.)
For example, if you meet up with some friends and they ask what you have been up to, then it’s a great time to say you are practicing for a half marathon in a few months, and now you can run at X pace, which means you are on track to meet your goal of finishing the event.
It will improve your self esteem to be able to share your wins with others. It’s like getting a star in kindergarten or getting that high five sign or confetti on one of your phone apps. Dopamine hits do work!
Another step to speaking your truth is learning to ignore the naysayers, Debbie Doubters, or the Excuse Committee. We all know who these well-meaning people are. They are the ones who deflate every idea we produce. They have more excuses than Carter has pills.
You absolutely must learn to ignore their comments, let it go in one ear and out the other, or perfect the art of being like ‘Teflon’ as I call it. This is when you don’t let their negative remarks stick to you. You just say something to deflect their statement, like, “I know it’s a lofty goal, but I can do it.” If you remember that those who vocalize the loudest distain for your ideas or the same ones too afraid to even try, it will keep things in perspective.
Eventually you will need to quit caring about what others say or think. You were not put here to please them; you were put here to learn how to live your best life! This is a huge step in most people’s lives. It might only take you till you are a teenager (good for you!), or it might not happen until your sixties (yep, that was me.)
It doesn’t matter when you learn not to care what others think but do learn it.
Unfortunately, some folks never learn it. I can promise it will be worth it! It is freeing to just answer to yourself and/or your higher power. This doesn’t mean you become an inconsiderate and selfish person.
On the contrary. You then have permission to learn how to live the best life you can imagine. You learn how to use your gifts. You learn how to make an impact on the world using your gifts to help others. You will get in touch with your life’s mission. It is a totally new way to live. You will be happier, more positive, kinder, and you will set an example for others because you will be a shining light to them.
You will be one of those who learned to speak your truth, thus making the world a better place for everyone!