Today I want to reflect on humbling experiences we all have and why they are actually good for us.

You might not remember learning to walk and falling down as a child, but you have certainly seen a child do so. Sure they might let out a little cry or sigh, but they eventually got back up and learned to walk. So did you!

As you grew older, you likely learned to ride a bicycle but not without falling down. Again, you had scrapes and bruises, but you persevered and learned to ride that bike!

As a teenager, you had unfamiliar social situations to navigate. How do I introduce myself? Do I shake hands? What was their name again? Dang, I said or did the wrong thing and committed a social faux pas. But it turned out to be okay because you figured it out sooner or later.

Perhaps you performed poorly in college or at your first job as a young adult. You might even have failed a class or been let go from work. But undoubtedly you learned what was required and tried again until you passed that course and held that job, at least for a while.

For me, having children was the most humbling experience. Prior to parenthood, I had no patience for unruly children whose parents failed to control them. It only took one dining out experience with my three-year old to understand their dilemma. It created a new sense of understanding or maybe sympathy for other parents.

Getting divorced is another humbling experience whether you initiated it or not. I remember being devastated after my first divorce, but my mom calmly said the news (and embarrassment on my part) would be old news in no time. This was code for “nobody really cares.”

And then there are the golden years, when you get out of shape and lose your physical prowess if you ever had any, and those darn wrinkles and flabby skin start appearing. Looking like a prune certainly is a humbling experience!

So here’s the good thing about having some humbling experiences in life:

• You learn. You grow. You improve.
• You realize that some things you just can’t control, no matter how hard you try.
• Eventually, you will get tired of feeling humbled (i.e., feeling a tad poorly about yourself.)
• You realize that only you know how hard you tried, not others who are seemingly judging you.
• Finally, you reach the point that you do not care what other people think of you. I call it learning to be unf*ckwithable or not giving a s*it.

It took me until about age 65 to attain this. What I wish for others is that they learn this earlier rather than later. That doesn’t mean you go through life oblivious to the feelings and thoughts of others. It just means you don’t let their feelings, their thoughts, or words, impact the choices you make in your life. 

Your job is YOU. Your duty is only to do your best. Your exposure to humbling experiences along the way, although uncomfortable, will certainly help you get there.